On how many occasions have you fell down the trap of a fight because you are fiercely defending your point of view and ended losing a whole lot more than just an argument?
This kind of situation is very frequent in families, among friends or at work, basically in every human relation.
Every mind is its own world and each person interprets their reality in their very own particular way. So what seems to you like a brilliant white color, to another person it seems as whitened beige and a washed cream to yet another one.
And this is definitely not wrong at all. In fact it is diversity which makes life in this world so rich. What’s wrong though, I think, is that we blindly marry an idea and don’t let the slightest chance of opening ourselves to another point of view, out.
Many times, when we have been working on a project for too long, doing things our way and a collegue tries to gives us some feedback on how they would have done things, we desperately look for different arguments, some right, others not so, to disarm their input and prove to them that only we were right.
The same happens with family and friends when each one has a personal point of view regarding certain traditions, habits and ways of doing things.
We argue and defend so much our ways of doing and seeing things that we deprive ourselves of the opportunity of learning new, and possibly better, ways of doing things. We close the door to knowledge. We stop collaborating, we don’t contribute with anyone and don’t let anyone contribute with us, and we end up missing the chance of maybe, just maybe, being better off.
So here’s an idea:
Concentrate more on being helpful and a lot less on being right.
Don’t waste time with useless arguments just to defend your point of view. Open yourself to what others have to say. Collaborate with them, let them share their thoughts with you, listen to them closely and please DO NOT TRY TO RESPOND JUST TO HAVE AN ANSWER.
Be confident enough to be humble and to understand that yours is not the only way of doing things. Before you answer back make an effort to truly understand where the other person is coming from and just then, if you still consider it necessary, share what you think. Try to find a common ground, create synergies and find new and better ways of working.
And if someone has a different opinion than this, I would love to listen to you with all my attention.